Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
