Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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