Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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