yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Having a random hookup so left but love u
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
