I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
