Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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