(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
