So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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