You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
