so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
