Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
