Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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