I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
