You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
