she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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