Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
