you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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