hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
