He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
