your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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