i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
