walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize