And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
