dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
