you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
