I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
