Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hate all girls vehemently.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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