Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
