Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I DEMAND FORESKIN
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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