Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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