420 ftw
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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