Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
