Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
