we made out on top of his cat.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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