i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
