Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
