one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
