Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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