I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
