I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
