I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
smell my finger.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
