It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize