Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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