That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
