I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize