She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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