areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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