I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize