Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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