she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
