He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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