I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I forget how to act sober
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
