Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
