We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Drake has all the answers
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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