Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need water and some morals
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
