what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize