i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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