Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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