no, he came in my armpit
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
