good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
