barbara walters just said penis...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
