It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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