haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i think my cat just said my name.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
