Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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