blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
