she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize