he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
