Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
