we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
