this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
