Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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