the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
