these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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