Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
