i just had sex bonerless
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
