It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
