think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i think we sleep fucked last night...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
